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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Gilderoy P. Lockhart!'s InsaneJournal:
| Friday, May 7th, 2010 | |
| 12:46 pm | [Charmed to Rita, Alex] So I was thinking today during transfiguration and I would have passed a note, but I had transfigured my notepad into a duck or whatever we were doing. Anyway! So I know it's not sunny enough to tan or anything, but we have all those awesome windows in the common room and stuff and we could totally make that into a place sort of like that. Or like a disco! I know Charity and Torin changed all the furniture into pillows over Christmas, so it's gotta be okay, right? Brilliant or Brilliant? |
| Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 | |
| 12:09 am | My but Valentines Day does seem to bring out the best in everyone! Even ugly people seem happier! I, for one, couldn't be happier, even if this year, I've elected to spend Valentine's day alone. There's a lot of pressure being in a relationship you know. And sometimes, I feel the sagest advice is to take time to really work on your relationship with yourself. I mean, if you can't even do that, how are you going to love anybody else. Why just last summer, my brother Gaius was talking about how he's had so much trouble getting and keeping a girlfriend. And it's certainly not for lack of appearance, I mean, he has my genes. But I really think it all has to do with confidence. And so, while I appreciate the flowers and gifts and adoring notes passed all day. Please don't take it personally if I didn't respond in kind. I love you all, but straight from me to you. Hogwarts, I think we all need to take a little time to work on loving ourselves. Happy Valentines Day, Hogwarts!  |
| Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 | |
| 9:45 pm | |
| Friday, March 5th, 2010 | |
| 12:00 am | |
| Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 | |
| 11:46 pm | I just want to say. I do not dye my hair and anyone who makes that claim is I do use a brightening shampoo on Fridays but that just helps the natural highlights reflect light more optimally, helping with depth and gloss. However this is my natural hair color. If I were to dye my hair, you can imagine I would go something much brighter. But why tamper with perfection? And yes, I was fixing my hair on the pitch. Those goggles and masks are simply horrendous for curl. So everyone can ignore Chase Harper and his little plea for attention. Because it's simply silly.  Also, Miss Harper, I believe we're partners? Let's show them how this is done. ♥ ( charmed to Mean Girls ) |
| Friday, February 12th, 2010 | |
| 6:31 pm | If I were a Gryffindor, I wouldn't even bother to show my face today. It's far too cold to watch your team lose. [Private to Ravenclaw Quidditch] Is everyone ready to win and look amazing? We're all wearing our sweaters, right? [Private to James Potter] Good Luck ♥ |
| Sunday, January 31st, 2010 | |
| 7:32 pm | [in haphazard script] ! ! ! ! ! |
| Sunday, January 17th, 2010 | |
| 7:08 pm | Welcome back Hogwarts! I hope you guys are ready for an awesome term what with THE RUMOUR (HAPPY KINGSLEY?) that quidditch is returning and Ravenclaw going to totally kick everyone's asses. <--Not a rumour. Kingsley's got some great ideas, and we've got some great new uniforms that I think will really make everyone pop against the sky. It's so hard wearing blue you know? But I hope everyone had a nice holiday and got lots of nice things. I know I, personally did. But I have to ask.... why was all the furniture in the Ravenclaw common room turned into pillows? |
| Monday, January 11th, 2010 | |
| 6:43 pm | You know, I find Christmas a little depressing. If everything's sparkling, how is one meant to stand out? I'm thinking, Navy Blue. [Private to self] I always forget that Mum can't actually do magic. You don't think she'd get so upset though. I just asked her to mend some things. I think I like Hogwarts better. [/end private] |
| Thursday, January 7th, 2010 | |
| 10:49 pm | |
| Saturday, January 2nd, 2010 | |
| 12:53 am | Yes. Yes. I know the rumors are flying around, so I suppose it is just best to come out and address them. There was a fist fight in Ravenclaw today, if you want to call it that. Though that's probably a little bit excessive calling it that. I was attacked. I have always thought that certain people just shouldn't be allowed in this school if they're clearly not mentally stable enough to be here on there own. I have never seen such unprovoked brutality and I am absolutely appalled. This school is lucky to have prefects like Miss Amelia Bones who can defuse these tense situations. ♥ When Miss Ethylbarm rushed me unexpectedly while I was studying, I was floored--quite literally, perhaps. But quite afraid to do more than defend myself from her irrationally flailing arms. I mean, she's so tiny, but I think we need to avoid villifying her too. Everyone's under a lot of stress and stress is hard for people without friends and stuff. So I'm going to be the mature one here and say. Water under bridge, right? Let's be friends, Stay safe Hogwarts, and I have to agree that I cannot wait until these exams are over and we can all go home for break. |
| Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 | |
| 11:27 pm | ( didn't realise this thing was so big--is what she said, of course. ) I, for one, have to say that Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. Even if the cold does dreadful things for most people's complexions (hint Hogwarts: a little bit of oatmeal goes a long way), there's still something magical about the season--which I think is saying something in a world full of wizards, don't you? The snow on the grounds the other day is really what inspired me to write, but I regret that I was so greatly busy yesterday that I just simply ran out of time to this, my duty to record my journey, for me, the author, and you the viewer. But I assure you, I simply could not think to pick up a pen. Where was I? The snow. The way the light catches it. It's like the ground is covered in sequins. I've always liked the Christmas ornaments with glitter--though this should come as no surprise to my long time readers. You'll remember, from my post last holidays, when I was in the Yule pageant in primary school. And they cast me as the angel. Was there any other part I might have played? And I had these wings--my mother helped me make them. You know there are fascinating charms one can do with glitter. Ever since, I have just adored working with glitter. Is it an artistic medium, because it should be. What are your favorite holiday memories, gentle readers? And the ball, one of my favorite parts of the Yule season; all the delightful galas. You know, my family goes to a few ourselves, largely those of family friends, Gaius' colleagues. You know the sort. But here our little Hogwarts is, trying to blossom into a social center itself. As it should, the finest examples of young wizarding Britain are concentrated her. Perhaps by sharing such gaiety, it might rub off on those who have not yetquite reached that point. But do we really have to wear masks? I have quite the fetching costume I had been saving for just such an occasion. I feel a mask just cheapens the effect. Until next time, Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men or whatever that is. Happy Christmas! |
| Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 | |
| 7:54 pm | I was looking at the prophet over the weekend and I think one of my cousins was killed. I didn't really know her until my mother got an invitation to her wedding over the summer, but still. Makes you think, doesn't it? At least it was a good wedding. And she seemed really nice. I wish pretty people would stop dying. On a more positive note, today Benjy was showing me some of his birthday gifts. Brilliant really and he had this one record by a chap, David Bowie. Wonderful hair that man. Perhaps he's almost like a thinner younger version of Liberace. Very Exciting Liberace is a fashion icon but so many of his outfits seem to be designed for an older wizard. It's difficult because clearly I don't need to cover up the imperfections of middle age. But I think this Bowie chap might have a way around that. I'll have to look more into him. You know, I heard a rumor about him and one of the Rolling Stones. I wonder if it's true. I know last year I said Elton John was a fashion genius, but Liberace is a BIGGER genius. if that's even possible. Maybe next year I'll be the next big thing. I've got my sunglasses ready and everything! I guess I don't really have much to say today. I'll write later Hogwarts! |
| Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 | |
| 3:39 pm | Well, I've been saying for weeks that lilac is the new tangerine. |
| Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | |
| 1:56 pm | Whatever. DADA is a stupid subject anyway. If everyone's already so advanced that they're asking questions about wandless magic and maximal shield charms, maybe it's just a waste of time at this school. |
| Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 | |
| 12:25 am | LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ADORING FANS! Take out your favorite quills, for I--in a bout of infinite kindness--am going to share with you the chief amongst my many, many talents. A recipe for my Tuesday conditioner! Now some of you may say, but Gilderoy, why do you need a Tuesday conditioner, your hair's already so amazing as it is. And you're right, it is, and I guess I'm just lucky like that, but even if it IS amazing, nothing comes without hard work. And I work really really hard to keep it so amazing. Now, but it wouldn't do to give away my entire set of secrets. I need something marketable when we get out of school you know. That is one of my long term goals. I can see it now. Gilderoy Lockhart's Lucious Locks! Shampoo and conditioner and molding gels. Glitter for hair. I could have a whole line. It would nourish your hair and look brilliant! Like my brother Gaius always says. The way to make it to the top is to find your own niche. I'm not entirely sure what he's saying but I think I completely agree! But I was talking about my conditioner, It's sort of based on a recipe that was in the April 1973 issue of Witch Weekly, you know the one with Circe MacTavish on the cover in the leather shirt with the eagle cut out where you can see the tattoo on the side of her stomach. I really like her, I wonder if she's going to release a new record anytime soon. I feel I just about played "Accio Lover" until the sonogram nearly dispelled itself. I hope she does. Anyway, the article was on page 63 or so and it was talking about ancient tricks and modern innovations in cosmetic potionry. Well, Tuesday is when I work on shine for my hair. Volume's one thing, curls are another, but without a high finish gloss, what's your hair even worth? It's a little harder with curly hair, but with patience and perserverence I think even Sevvie Snape could have hair that would make witches turn their head and stare. Anyway, I guess I should go ahead and give you the recipe, I know you've all been waiting with baited breath: In a silver-lined cauldron start with a base of 300 mL of coconut milk, it's important that it be fresh and from a young coconut because older ones give kind of funny milk and they're sort of icky, don't you think? Add it slowly, over medium heat (sort of a fuschia-blue flame) on top of three hibiscus flowers laid on the bottom of the cauldron. At this point, slice a kaffir lime leaf and add 2 ground scarab beetle carapaces. Cover the pot and leave it simmering for 6-8 hours. Sometimes I go for 10. Usually overnight. This gives the shampoo base a nice scent as well as functioning nicely. Now, here you pull out a little fancy wand work. If you twirl your wand while stirring 9 times counter clockwise, the shampoo should turn mauve. If it turns lavender, you've gone too far and need to go back. After that, turn up the heat to a charteuse flame and leave boiling until the potion has reduced to a paste. Let the paste cool to about 45 degrees (centigrade, of course) and brush it on your hair. It should still be warm so you can wrap it in a towel and let it dry for about two and a half hours, then wash your hair with a clarifying wash and There! Simple, right? So, I think everyone should try this out, and by next wednesday our hair will be shinier than the trophies in the trophy hall! |
| Thursday, October 1st, 2009 | |
| 8:09 pm | Private to Sibyll OH MY GOD SIBYLL YOUR DREAM ABOUT THE EAGLE CAME TRUE! MY HAIR IT I IT I :( :( It's gone. /Private I think I'm going to Pomfrey. I don't feel well. No one visit me. -GL |
| Monday, September 21st, 2009 | |
| 9:36 pm | Private to self This is bad. Really bad. What if Benjy dies too? He's my friend! It'll be all my fault! I hope he doesn't. /Private |
| Saturday, September 12th, 2009 | |
| 5:28 pm | Normally my poetry's very private you see. But this once, I will gift upon the masses an example of my art. I do wish to be a writer one day, I fancy I'm rather decent at it. It doesn't rhyme, but that does seem to be the new thing, doesn't it? ( My dark haired dream by P. Gilderoy Lockhart ) There, not bad for a quick little thing, was it? Private to James Potter What say, James, Want to go to the unity ball? |
| Monday, September 7th, 2009 | |
| 8:29 pm | Isn't it delightful today? I thought to take a walk outside after it stopped raining, I'm still forgetting that silly lockin thing. I can't see it's point. Plus it is getting so difficult to have fresh air in this stuffy old castle. I feel every time I pass by a window I can't even see myself in the glass because of some group huddled around it like they need it to live. Do you think it's going to end soon? I hope so. I've really been wanting to go sit by the lake. You know, my brother told me a story about the squid in the great lake and how one time it grabbed a student and pulled them under water. They were okay I guess, the giant squid must have just been in a playful mood. I don't think that would happen again. But I guess maybe the grounds aren't entirely peaceful. Plus that lake doesn't look sanitary at all. Are there really mermaids in it? I think I've heard them singing. Each to each even, Oh, some muggle piece of poetry, but I jest. You know, I'll have you know my absolute favorite poet is this welsh poet, Dylan Thomas. Simply delightful chap, uses lovely language and his poems aren't inaccessible like a lot of poets can be. But still, I think it would be nice to sit out by the lake without having some old professor hover over me. At least there's quidditch, which is going amazingly as expected! You know, even with my vast reading on the subject, and my family's experience, there always seems to be something more to learn on the pitch! This will be a most exciting season! And for those who were worried, Ravenclaw Tower is 100% coma free, except for those of us stuck writing a history of magic essay. Honestly, who even cares about werewolves anyway? They're so... hairy. Ew. Until next time loyal fans, remember, I'll be at Quidditch practice on Mondays and Wednesdays if you want to come watch! |
